Dating a pleaser
Responding to the needs of others, of course, is a crucial part of normal social functioning.
But people-pleasers are so invested in outside approval that they set their own wants and needs aside.
The typical people-pleaser is someone who lacks an internal compass to gauge the value of their own actions, explains Linda Tillman, a psychologist at Emory University.
"As a result, they spend their lives looking for validation from others." The seeds of people-pleasing are usually planted in childhood, according to Jay Earley, author of .
He started to get annoyed at He ended up resenting me and then dumped me.
He didn’t feel like he could be himself around me and that caused him to end the relationship altogether.
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"People ask me to do things like serve on committees, and I'll accept without evaluating whether I'm really passionate about it," she says. I'm too stressed, and my attention is divided." Ray is a self-admitted "people-pleaser"—someone committed to bolstering the well-being of others even at the expense of her own.
What he didn’t know is that I would’ve rather him been real than “okay” all the time.
He would lie all the time just so I wouldn’t get mad at him.
He would tell these little white lies just to keep me happy and I would ALWAYS know when he was doing it.
He would hold back details or make stuff up just to make sure I still loved him and it was pretty sad. One of the most unattractive qualities in a man is the inability to make decisions.He said it was too much pressure trying to measure up to me, which was interesting because all I ever wanted was for him to be himself—not a perfect, people pleasing version.
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